let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
