The brown eye won't let me do that either.
love makes seman taste better
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
