Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
