Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
