Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
