Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
