I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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