Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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