Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
