What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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