I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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