i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
