I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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