i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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