he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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