I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
