at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She needs sedatives and a leash
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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