He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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