K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We need to get me chipped asap
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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