Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
