I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize