im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
