Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
