That's intense
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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