and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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