I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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