Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
