Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
