Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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