she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
