I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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