Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
