She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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