my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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