Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
