Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
