i don't like sucking hair
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
