do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
