I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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