My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
