I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
