Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
