glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize