There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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