I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
