I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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