I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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