Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
