Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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