try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
this boner is exhausting
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
