i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
