"it" just moved
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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