zippers are such a cool invention
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My ass is underappreciated
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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