On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So much Jack, so little girl.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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