I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize