What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize