Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
