your room smells of hookers.
And success
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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