Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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