matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
