he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Randomize
