Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize