when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
