Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
