I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Randomize
